Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
too bad you live with your parents still
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize