I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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