i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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