thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize