he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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