Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
