do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
