If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
