After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
