i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
