Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
