One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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