dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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