She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Boobs speak an international language.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
