so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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