He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize