Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
