somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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