IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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