Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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