At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
