I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
