So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
