I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
