i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
