You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
