oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
