Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
