I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
