I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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