I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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