even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
