Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
