I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
