I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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