Will you blow on my dice?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize