My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
