just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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