she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
