well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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