4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
