We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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