I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This house was built for laser tag.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I wear drunk well.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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