I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just tell him i said nine months
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
