A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I need water and some morals
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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