Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
only if we run a train.
done.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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