My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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