Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
