do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize