yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
