ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
