He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
