After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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