I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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