Porn is love you can see.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There are leaves in my underwear?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
