true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
