i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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