maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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