I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
