Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
