Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
