Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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