i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
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So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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