the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
