I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
