soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
