You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
