No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
